The Lord begins to tell me his purpose for my life, I am not sure how to react. I have been feeling this in my spirit for the last week, but the questions I have, drown out the call He is giving me. "Lord, how will this ever work? Leave my family? Leave my parents? My friends? My house? I want to go to college. I want to live on a farm with a family, and a husband."

"Trust me.

Trust me."

"I will trust You."

I was fourteen years old. God has just told me that His purpose is missions, my life is missions.

Since this bold declaration was coming at the conclusion of a missions trip I had taken to Mexico, I'm sure everyone felt it was just a temporary passion aftershock from my trip.

Yet that night, inside the RV, is one that I have never been able to put away from my memory. I could see that night in the depths of my drunken subconscious during the years I turned my back on God, and in the empty relationships I surrendered my heart to while I tried to find meaning in sin throughout my high school and college years. I didn't heed the call.

Over the next years I submitted myself to countless relationships, and something I always told myself in every one of them, "I can just live a normal life. Have kids. Have a house. A garden. A dog. Or two."

I would try to silence the call inside my soul and convince myself that I could live a middle-class existence inside the creature comforts of the American life.

I knew this was never the plan for my life.

I didn't want to heed the call.

Why should I have to be called to this, why can't I stay where I am? Why do I have to, 'go'?

I wrestled with these questions, drowning out the seeds of trust the Lord was trying to plant inside of me.

Now I'm 21 years old. The call I received 7 years ago rings clear in my mind, body, spirit, soul. Go.

If I needed any confirmation the Lord has surely provided it to me. He's been preparing me. Every aspect of my life has been Him shaping me. 9 months ago I was sitting in a service in Erlanger, Kentucky. Looking back at how I even connected and made it to that church, that was God. God hooked me up with that church. The pastor had just returned from a mission trip to Haiti, his night's message was titled, "Go".

I felt like the Lord was behind a microphone making sure I knew, a "just in case you forgot".

At the conclusion of the service, I knew it was me. I began to weep and felt like I was back in that RV, will I heed the call?

He keeps showing me, telling me, leading me. Will I heed the call?

Last weekend I began the physical process of heeding the call. Where do I begin? Where does He want me? Go, but where?

That's where I must become dependent on the Father.

I don't know where the Lord wants me. I don't know where the call is to. The call may be to our country. The call may be anywhere. So as I learn to become fully dependent on the Lord, trusting His will, His purpose, His plan. I know that He won't fail me. I don't know when, where, with who, but if God is willing me, then I am there.

I will heed the call.