"My Greatest Failure"- Those worlds are pretty intimidating,
I won't lie when I first read I thought "My greatest failure? Yeah, I've messed
up but nothing too awful" or "well I wouldn't say those are failures, I've learned from them all".
It took me awhile before I realized ...perhaps this was my very greatest
failures, and one of the most dangerous at that.

OVER-ESTIMATION. When
I was young I grew up "well read" and
"sheltered". I could sing to you all
the books of the Bible in order and had gold stars by every memory verse I
could say, I knew a lot about God and the Bible, I knew that I was well informed about Christianity.  I thought this made me a good Christian, compared to others who were "Christian" I knew more
and could recite more and went to church more.

For a very long time I over-estimated the depth of my relationship
with God because I thought I was such a "good Christian"

Since I have grown in my faith, I find my self still over
estimating, be comfortable in my relationship with God.

Living in the American
Dream I am  blessed with so much but
cursed with the over shadowing reality that in our world it is easy for me to
live with out needing God, to live in this suffocating bubble of comfort,
surrounded by my wants and my needs. And the more I sits back in that comfort
the easier and easier it is for me to slip away from God. 

When we're not
constantly relying on him it doesn't matter if we forgot our devotional this
morning, or didn't remember to pray last night, if we aren't in desperate need
for his help or his love and affection, its okay if we missed Sunday worship
and service. Because we are no longer dependent on God for what we need.

When I over-estimate how involved I am in my relationship
with God I get cozy in the life I live and it becomes harder to step out of my
snuggly bedroom and do something that makes me slightly uncomfortable for God's
kingdom.

At our church this year we had a goal for everyone to invite
one person with them on Easter Sunday to service. While I was driving home one
night, I saw a man sitting out behind a store taking a smoke break. From the outside
it appeared that worry and stress plagued him. It was weird how fully I knew
that God wanted me to invite him to Easter Services. However I left, but the
feeling that I should ask this random stranger to church didn't, that at the
next light I U-turned and drove back to the man. Stopped in view of the
stranger. And instantly became over-come by excuses.

"I don't even have any information cards on me"

"what if he thinks its weird"

"I mean he might not even be safe"

"he might already go to church"

"are you sure he looks worried, he could be totally fine."

And I drove back home.

I was comfortable were I was; taking a "smoke break" of my own. Comfortable not reaching out; comfortable saying "I don't need to do this
for you God". 

The Irony in it all was, in reality he doesn't need me to do
it for him either, he will find someone else to witness to that man taking a
smoking break, But I won't get the chance to be a part of it. God wants to do
great things through us, but he doesn't have to, he will be glorified whether
we chose to do it with our time here on earth or not. However because of his
great love for us he desires for us to be able to get in on his plan, and
experience him moving in mighty ways.

I am guilty time and time again of over-estimating my
commitment to God, of getting comfortable with where I'm at in life and
becoming stagnant, but because I can never over-estimate how great my God loves
me, or how much he cares for me, I am constantly redeemed every time I fall
short of God's plan for my life and am constantly loved and blessed by my God.