11rl0902imr - He is Greater Than Me

"I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no powers, no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection."

Music is such a big part of who I am. It was my first love and for the longest time it was the only thing that I felt secure about. I even remember being young and thinking that my voice was the only beautiful thing about me.

This changed as I fell more deeply in love with my saviour but I was still very single-minded in my pursuit of a musical career. I only applied to one college- Belmont University in Nashville. I was either going to nail my audition and get accepted, or I was going to move to Nashville anyways. I was determined to have the kind of sucess that the world values above all else. I was determined to be famous. I was going to be a well known and well respected songwriter/singer and that was that.

I got accepted to Belmont and thrived there. I was getting straight A's for the first time ever. I was impressing my professors, my peers, and industry officials. From the outside looking in, I had nothing but success. But my spirit was so unsettled. I had no peace, and I knew why. I knew that I was failing. I had been given this opportunity to share the love of Christ within an industry that is controlled be people that need Jesus. But I was so busy making my own name famous that I didn't bother to make His name known. It wasn't like I had forgotten about my Lord, I was still in the Word often. But I was too busy to make time for church or to get involved in any kind of small group. I had no accountability and the only people I mentioned the name of Jesus to were the ones who already knew Him. Once I became aware of this, I felt so ashamed, but I did nothing to be different. I knew I was called to serve God and to serve others, but I wasn't willing to compromise my plans. I thought I knew what was best.

It wasn't long before I broke. I was spent. I'd been spreading myself so thin in areas that were so unimportant and trivial. After many sleepless nights and long, hard conversations with my Lord, my desire to be there at all was gone. I felt so exhausted and so stupid for working myself to death for my own name's sake. So I left Nashville embarrassed that I was letting my Lord down while I was there and embarrassed to be letting other people down by leaving.

God called me home, away from my life long dream for myself to prepare me for His dream for me. And one humbling thing after another happened until I knew that there was no way I could boast about anything except for Jesus. He started using me to make His name famous. He has even allowed me to use music to do this. And now that has become my sole desire. It is so amazing how my Lord redeems me again and again!

Praise our God for His redemptive love. His plans are greater than ours. He is greater than me.

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He is Greater Than Me

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