11rl0902imr - LUKEWARM and PROUD

My greatest failure...hmm...A very hard topic to cover. I guess you could say that my greatest failure cannot be summed up into one word, event, or circumstance; my failure was more of a state of being, and the name of this state was LUKEWARM and PROUD.

Not that I knew I was lukewarm and was proud of that fact, but that I was too proud to be anything but lukewarm and too proud to admit it.

In my mind I interpreted lukewarm as pertaining to those who go to church and profess to be Christians but have never accepted Christ into their heart. So in that respect I did not fall into that category...I was a Christian, but I had no passion and excitement in my heart for Jesus and His calling. I lived my life for me, keeping the "big rules" but completely ignoring the rest...the "fine details."

And that's where the pride comes in....

"I've been going to church since I was born, what could I possibly gain from these sermons...I've heard them all before," was my general thought process. Try to convict me with a bible verse of a wrong that I had committed, and more likely than not I would have a verse to counter it with my opinion. Teachability...pshhh...what did I need to learn?...Yep, Christian pride at the max!

Yet...Gods power is unignorable. Unlike the drawn out failure, Gods redemption and the change He made in me was like a flash. The truth is I can barely even remember how God softened my heart. He works in mysterious ways, but what I do know is that I'm on the right track, I am in continual need of Christ's transformation and now I am willing to except it.

I had been going to church for 17 years, been a Christian for 11, been baptized for 5...and it took me 17 years to really understand the love of Christ, the sacrifice He made, His desire to spend time with us, the true meaning of what it is to be a Christian.

Our God is a Patient and loving God!!!